I can't sleep.

there are some things my dad used to tell me when I was younger; he would say, "just lay there and you'll fall asleep eventually." and I know this is true still as I type these words, but sometimes it is just too boring to lay there and wait to sleep. there are so many other exciting things to do! sometimes, if I couldn't sleep, I would drink warm milk with honey, or I would read junie b. jones books, or I would secretly watch movies in the living room. yes, I was a late-night elementary school movie-watching ninja. this was only sometimes, of course.

there are these things I want to do in life, such as write great poetry or just read great poetry, and draw tediously for hours, and breathe more and experiment with food. and be intentional, in general. I have lots of rules, you see, in my mind. and these rules, they don't usually come to fruition. sadly. do you ever have this sense that you are not doing enough? that you are just not reaching your full potential? that you are wasting your precious moments? maybe you don't, but I know that I do. wise words were recently spoken to me, that if I feel this way then I should stop wasting my precious moments. gifts, that's what they really are. I do not want to waste my life!

I will go to bed now.