i seriously hate the fact that i wait last minute to do everything. i also hate when people write posts that complain about things in their life they could have prevented, but i am now one of those people.

the thing is though, i always tell myself that the next time i have tests i will not wait until the night before to start studying for them--i think to myself that i will start studying way beforehand, like a week or something, but then there are people that i want to hang out with and good conversations to be had and sometimes that just seems more important. it just seems so easy for people to brush school off because, well, there are just more fun things to do. my roommate sarah once told me this wise thing (although she's told me many wise things). she said that it's hard to do what's not fun, but sometimes it is what is better. or something to that extent. and that is just so true. i mean, it probably seems so obvious...but it's those darn simple things that always seem to get me.

relationships are certainly more important in the grand scheme of life, but i am so blessed to be in college getting an education. and everyone says that, but i seriously don't remember it enough. it's really annoying. sometimes i just wish i would remember what the important things are when i need to act on them, but for some reason i usually seem to forget them at that moment.

and i know that relationships are important. i am in no way saying that tests and grades are of greater worth than getting to know people and create lasting friendships with them. but what i am saying is that i just need to learn balance...but it is something i struggle with in all areas of life. i just strive to control my own life, because i think if i do certain things i will have control...but that is in no way the case. i think so much about the future and freak out about my major and classes and think i need to have it all together...but most of the time i am not focusing on this very moment. if i focused more on using the time i have now in the wisest way, at least i would know that i did my best.

but for now, i can only finish what i can with the time and energy left...and i just gotta learn from my mistakes! cuz i will keep on making them, that's for sure.