lately

i am wondering about the world. i want to read my bible more. i feel enclosed within these walls. i ache to see people constantly. i am trying to relax in this moment, trying to embrace all that i have now, although it's not easy. i'm again and again having to remind myself that i can't do any of this on my own, i can't change on my own, i am helpless on my own. i am wondering and wondering. i am aching. i am trying to settle for being enough in the sight of God's eyes as i stand in a world where i will never be enough, and it is not an easy thing to do.

bottom line is, we all need each other. it's the truth. it's screaming in our faces. so many days i wake up and i let this wall surround me--a wall of ego and pride and selfishness that keeps me at a distance from the people i should most be showing love to and letting love be shown to myself as well. i feel myself being challenged. being poked and prodded.

i wish i had a good quote or something to end this with, but instead i am going to go eat leftover chicken wings. goodnight all